a crack appeared in my pane the other day. i didn’t shatter: but it was the first time i realized i could shatter, i was made of something that wouldn’t last forever, i was slowly melting toward the earth like everything else, just at a pace more glacial than glaciers but with all the same erratics.
that pace has accelerated somewhat.
my way has always been to reflect whatever i observe. it’s easy; i’m good at it. i blend in that way. nobody notices the reflection if it’s vague enough. people simply feel somehow a little more themselves, a little more welcome. it takes no work at all.
but the crack draws attention to me. for the first time, they realize they’re seeing me, a separate entity, and for the first time they realize they don’t know who i am. and for the first time, i realize i don’t know who i am, either.